// when it rains it pours…//

Dani, 
The idea that I wouldn’t know what you were up too would have been a joke a year ago. Now I found myself faced with this question on a day to day basis. Somehow between figuring out life, and trying to survive I feel like I’ve misplaced my focus somewhere along the way. You were my Bestfriend. Taught me how to forgive, how to just laugh and be happy and how to love with a faith that everything happens for a reason. This past summer was one of the saddest I’ve ever had. I lost time to spend with you that I will never get back, please understand that I am just trying to figure it all out. I never told you how much I regret not being there. Then, life took a unfortunate twist with your accident, I lost a little bit of my faith in a reason for everything and watching you struggle with somthing you couldn’t help was one of the worst things I’ll ever have to do. We used to talk about things that mattered, there was no problems we couldn’t solve. Well this one I had no answer for, I had no rhyme or reason. Bigger than Edgar, tim, Jacob or Cole I didn’t know what to do. I just knew I lacked the faith, strength and understanding of how to fix you. Luckily will stepped in where i fell short. I could not offer words of inspirational wisdom from
The bible or sit and pray with you, i just had unconditional love. i love you more then myself, you are apart of me but I feel as though I’m lacking that latley. I’m sorry I’ve been so absent, that I haven’t been putting enough effort I just feel like this summer that accident took my best friend away. I was mistaken because you have never left, it was me, I was scared. You and I had so many plans, everything side by side, and on my way back from loyola, I cried, because we were supposed to do it all together and unfortunately life changes our plans and there isn’t much we can do about it. I wish I had the ability to help you and I cant. I can just sit and watch. I love you and I never want you to feel like I’m gone, I will always be here and this is just to serve as reminder to you that I am so sorry. I love you forever..

—

I read this about every other day and try to figure out what went wrong…abandoned would be the word I would use if I had to explain how I felt…But I dont know the whole side of the story. I dont know what you think and After all the phone calls and texts, with no response, I dont think I ever will…

If your reading this please know that I didnt need you to fix me, I am just as lost as you are, but thats where we should have stuck together, I need you. Your “Unconditional Love” and support that you have always given me…NO ONE can replace the comfort that a best friend can give to another. I dont have that anymore and it hurts. we’re walking on to different sides of this corrupt world…remember when we stood next to eachother, making sure neither would fall. Time has been lost but nothing can replace that friendship, that bond, that sisterhood that we had. Please, I need the tumbling at 12, summers at the lake, talk about med school, conquer whatever came our way days back….I need my best friend